A Little Tipsy
by The Maudlin Muse
Summary: Mozzie finds something unexpected at the bottom of his wine glass.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: I found this on my computer, completely forgot that I wrote it. Hope you all like it. Also I am still looking for coauthors so if anyone thinks they can help me with one of my stories please speak up.

Moz finds something at the bottom of his wine glass that he was not expecting.

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A Little Tipsy Chapter one

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This was not the sort of thing that happened to Mozart Haversham, to Neal, yeah sure, but to Mozzie? Not so much.

Moz didn't go for the excitement, the attention, the big dazzling spectacles-he was the behind the scenes guy, the dependable one that everyone loved and everyone would risk their necks for, because in one way or another Mozzie had managed to help them all. He was troubled and misguided, but well respected and very cared about amongst his people.

Mozzie didn't want to be the center of attention. He preferred to fade into the background. He wasn't like Neal who liked to take center stage, and that was why things like this were supposed to happen to him NOT Moz!

It was one of the reasons they got along so well, Neal took all the attention he wanted and craved and he took it away from Mozzie who was more than happy to give it up.

Neal couldn't take the attention off him now though, and he was withering under the unwavering glare of the Suit of all people.

"Couwd you not sthare at me, ith unewving," Mozzie lisped at him, though he never took his eyes off the wine glass they had been glued too since this entire debacle started.

The crystal goblet was a quarter of the way full with the blood red liquid, the rest of its previous content were inhabiting Mozzie's stomach, dribbled slightly down his chin with the remainder pooled in a stain on his previously spotless plaid shirt.

Peter just blinked at him dumbly and then looked over at Neal, who was leaning against the counter top, his hands stuffed in his pockets.

"Don't look at me," Neal said, pushing off from the counter and yanking his hands from his pockets to hold out in front of him defensively.

"You…" He pointed a finger at the not so ex con, "You had to have something to do with this…" He moved his finger to point at Moz,

before pointing it back at Neal "You ALWAYS have something to do with it!"

"Me?" Neal asked innocently, "How could I have caused that?" he asked pointing at Moz who was doing his best to disappear, staring hard at his wine glass.

"I am admittedly very talented, but…" Neal cut off as Peter reached out and grabbed the glass from Mozzie's little hand; he had picked it up and was swishing its contents around as he stared at it as if all the answers in the world were in its ruby depths.

Mozzie gave a startled noise and then glared at Peter, "I wadnd dunna dwink it!" He protested, "Do I wook `tupid to you?"

"No, you look about 2 to me," Peter told him, "You shouldn't even be holding this," He held up the wine class now safely in his own possession.

"Dond `pill dat, ids ebidence," Mozzie told him frantically, reaching out to reclaim the glass which Peter purposely held out of his significantly shortened reach.

"Settle down, I'm not going to spill it," Peter assured him.

Ignoring Mozzie, who was now sporting a disgruntled pout on his little round face, Peter turned to Neal, "Now how did this happen?"

"How should I know?" Neal asked defensively.

"Start from the beginning, tell me everything that happened?" Peter was trying to be patient, he really was, but he was standing there staring at a Mozzie who was even smaller than normal and a smaller Moz could only mean a more troublesome Moz… and… and, well kids made him nervous!

"I came home with food for Mozzie and I, he went to my wine rack and took out a bottle, my last bottle," Neal frowned, it was always so hard for him to get more, "I set out the food while Mozzie poured us each a glass, and we sat down to eat. Moz commented that the color of the whine seemed off, so he sniffed it and tasted it and then… well… I don't know Peter, I know what I saw, but I don't… know what I saw…"

Neal shook his head and rubbed his eyes.

"Just tell me Neal, it can't be any more insane than what I think I am seeing right now." Peter sounded exasperated.

"Blue sparkles!" Neal exclaimed.

"Blue sparkles?" Peter asked.

"Yes! Blue sparkles, they shot out of Moz like it was the Fourth of July, and when they stopped he was… well, you see!" Neal gesticulated wildly with his hands at his paranoid little friend, now much littler than he had previously been.

"Yeah, I see" Peter sighed.

"I sidin wight hewe you know," Mozzie added in, disgruntled.

"That's when you called me?" Peter asked, ignoring Mozzie again for the moment, trying to figure out what happened, to which Mozzie was being no help.

Neal nodded and Peter reached over and grabbed the wine bottle, "This is the wine you always drink?" Peter asked, "Did you get it from the same place as always," as in June's collection, Peter didn't add.

"Yeah," Neal nodded taking the bottle from Peter to study.

Neal froze, his hand started to shake as he started at the label. His mouth went dry and his face ashen in color, small droplets of perspiration beading on his forehead and nose as he stared unblinkingly at the wine bottle… how had he not… how had this escaped his notice? How had he been so careless?

"Neal, what is it?" Peter asked, noticing the change in his friend.

"Peter… this… this… I… this isn't the whine June gave me…" Neal sounded a little panicked because he didn't know where this wine had come from, where his wine had gone and how they had been switched. He looked at Peter with wide eyes, "I… I don't know where this came from…"


	2. Chapter 2

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Chapter two

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"What do you mean Neal?" Peter tried to keep his own voice calm.

"June… she wouldn't-doesn't stock whine older than a few years, not the Israeli whine, this… the one she gave me was Galil Mountain Cabernet Sauvignon from 2009, she doesn't buy older because the entire 'whine gets better with age' thing is a myth, it gets better to a certain point, usually a couple of years, and that is usually in the barrels in the vineyard not the bottle itself, then it starts deteriorating and this… this is award winning wine, you don't drink it past its due date!" Neal started to explain.

"Neal, what's that got to do…" Peter started, but then Neal continued.

"This is Galil Mountain Cabernet Sauvignon, but it's from 1999, June would never have one this old, it wouldn't be very good, or at least not nearly as good as it could be. And I know when she gave it to me, I always look at the date you see, that it was bottled July 2009, peak of wine season in the Galil. This… this isn't the wine she gave me Peter…" Neal sounded scared at this point.

"Okay, Neal, calm down, you didn't drink any, right?" Peter asked, he could only assume that whoever had switched the bottles, and laced it with, well whatever could do THAT, he looked at Mozzie and sighed, had meant it for Neal.

Neal shook his head, relieved that he hadn't gotten a chance to sample this particular wine.

Peter went into the kitchen and got two large zip lock bags, they weren't evidence bags, but they would have to do. Taking the wine from Neal he re corked and placed it in one of the bags before taking some clear cling wrap and a rubber band and covering the wine glass and putting it in the second bag. Making sure both were closed securely he turned to Neal, "I am going to take these down to the office and have them analyzed and dusted for prints, if there is anything identifiable in here, that should not be we will find it."

"Whad mates you fink id would be adebafiable?" Mozzie demanded, he knew of nothing that could do what was done to him and Mozzie was pretty sure he knew everything!

"Look Haversham, we are going to do whatever we can to figure this out, the first thing is testing this wine to see what is in it. You are right, we probably won't know what we are looking at, but that is how we will know when we have found it." Holding both bags in one hand he ran the other down his face before turning to Neal, "I will send Diana over with some age appropriate clothing and things,"

If Peter was about to say anything else, Neal didn't care, he cut him off, "Wait you are leaving me here alone, with him?" He pointed to the pint sized version of his best friend. He was usually really good with kids, but this was Mozzie and that was just akward!

"Neal, he's Mozzie." Peter pointed out in exasperation, if it had been any other kid he would have thought twice about leaving Neal in charge, but this was Mozzie and there really was no one better equipped to take care of him at any age or height, than Neal.

"That's exactly it!" Neal cried, "He's Mozzie!"

Forgetting that responsibility wasn't exactly Neal's forte, Peter cut off any farther argument by letting himself out of the apartment, "Bye Neal, Diana should be here soon." He called over his shoulder, and then he was gone.

Mozzie huffed angrily, despite his new size he could take care of himself, he had always taken care of himself even when he was this small the first time! Pushing his overly large glasses up the tiny bridge of his nose, it was useless they were falling off and weren't the correct script anyway, but he couldn't see very well without them.

Angry, he took them off and slammed them onto the table before sliding off the chair. Wearing nothing but a button down shirt that he was swimming in, his pants and shoes discguarded on the floor, Mozzie stormed to the bathroom.

"Need some...um help there Moz?" Neal asked.

"NO! I tan take cawe a mysef!" He yelled in a huff slamming the bathroom door behind him, never mind that he could not reach the knob to let himself out again, he wouldn't have even been able to get in if the door hadn't been left ajar.

Neal grinned to himself and pulled a chair up outside the bathroom. It would only be a matter of time until his stubborn little friend called for help.

The toilet was really rather high, and there wasn't anything to step on to reach better, still Mozzie was determined to do this on his own so getting onto his tip toes he tried to aim and hold his shirt up at the same time. His balance was off and he could barely see and his bladder control wasn't what it should have been and in short... well... he sprayed the entire toilet, his shirt, his hands and his own legs. The little germaphobe gave a squeak of discontent.

Hearing Mozzie, Neal panicked a bit, what had he been thinking letting him go in there alone, what if he got hurt, jumping up from the chair, no longer finding this amusing, Neal rushed to the door, "You ok in there Moz?" he asked reaching quickly for the door knob.

"NO! I NOD OTAY!" The panicked little voice cried unhappily. He was a disgusting mess! So many germs!

"What happened, Moz?" Neal said as the smile sliding right off his face and he charged for the bathroom door. What was he thinking letting him go in there by himself? Anything could have happened. He could have picked up a razor, or drown in the toilet, Neal had read somewhere that toddlers could drown in a bucket of water, if they could drown in a bucket he was sure they could drown in a toilet too. He threw open the door and froze in the door way standing there aghast at the horrible mess.

Mozzie crossed his little arms over his tiny chest and glared fuzzy eyed up at Neal.

"What the hell Moz!" he said. After having a better look at the situation he scratched his head "Ok Moz...I see the problem here. We're gonna have to get you cleaned up."

"Der gewms all ober me!" Moz exclaimed unhappily.

"Uh huh. Although I gotta tell you pee is not all that full of germs...still I'd rather it wasn't all over the floor. How about you get yourself in the tub and I wash the floor?"

Mozzie glared at Neal, "If you fink Imma baf wif you inna woom you gods anudder fin comen Neaw!"

"Moz you're not gonna be able to reach." Neal said once again really assessing the situation. "Take your clothes off..." he said with a wrinkled nose. "And I'll lift you in."

"No! Nod dunna happen Neaw!" The indignant toddler said firmly.

"Fine then." Neal nodded with a shrug, but looking out of the corner of his eye at his friend. "You just stay like that. See if I care."

Mozzie blinked wide blue eyes at him, "Bud I hab gewms!"

"Look as far as I can see, you have two choices here. You can let me help you get in the bath or you can stay like that...If you have any better ideas I'm open to suggestions."

"Yeah I habba beddew idea, I baf mysewf wike I beed doin fow fowdy yeaws!"

Again Neal shrugged. "Go ahead. I'll be in the next room."

Mozzie shuffled over to the tub, that had been too easy, Neal never gave in that fast and Mozzie knew Neal well enough to know when he was being conned, but still... he wasn't sure what Neal's angle was and he didn't want the other man to see him naked, that was just a line they didn't cross, so he reached into the tub to try and turn it on, but his new stupid arms were too short!

"You alright in there Moz?" Neal called out.

"Fine" Moz lied, reaching farther, getting up on his tip toes, he reached as far as he could, but lost his balance, he was just too short, and went sliding head first into the tub

Neal went running back into the bathroom. "That's it." he said. "We have to do this my way. I HAVE to help you. It's dangerous. He lifted the poor little guy to a sitting position. "Here let me help you with your shirt."

"No!" Mozzie was painfully shy about his body and his mind hadn't quit caught up with the fact that his body, wasn't all that much right now. He held his shirt down tight with two little fists at the hem.

"Ok." Neal said. "Let's try this a different way. I'm gonna put water and bubbles in the tub and then when I lift you shirt I won't see anything."

"I tan baf myself Neaw!" Moz was very apparenly unhappy with the entire situation

"You're too little now. If I leave you in here and you drown...and at this point I COULD be persuaded...Peter and El will kill me."

Mozzie stuck his bottom lip out at Neal, "Das nod berry nice!"

"Moz...just cooperate with me...it's not nice of you to not trust me either."

"I twust you Neaw, you know dat!" Mozzie frowned deeply, there was a difference between trust and... well... this was insane!

Neal decided to just turn on the taps and go with his plan. So he poured in some bubble bath...definitely time Moz smelled a little better...and turned on the taps sending a gush of warm water into the tub.

Moz gave a little squeak and kicked his tiny feet against the incoming water, it was meant to be indignant but it just ended up being cute

Neal waited for the water to reach Mozzie's waist and then quickly grabbed at the shirt and peeled it over the little boy's head.

Mozzie tried to wrestle for the shirt but realized in doing so he was being lifted out of the water and the modesty the bubbles provided, so he reluctantly let go, crossing his skinny arms over his tiny chest and glaring up at Neal.

"Ok your your own now...wash yourself." Neal said. He popped on some rubber gloves and busied himself cleaning the bathroom. When they managed to get Mozzie back to his normal size he was gonna owe him big time...this was sooo gross, Neal thought.

Mozzie grabbed at Neal's expensive body conditioning soap and squeezed half the bottle into his little hand, seeing as one hand was too small to find around it and squeeze he had, had to prop it against his body and press down with one hand, the other hand poised to catch the soap which came out in a huge glob as big as his hand.

"Hey you rotten little rug rat!" Neal yelled. "You have soap...leave my stuff alone!"

Mozzie stuck his tongue out at Neal before rubbing the huge glob of soap against his tiny tummy.

Neal gave Mozzie an evil grin. "Smart aren't you. Now you have too much soap and we're gonna have to rinse."

Mozzie rubbed the soap in good making a rich lather all across his body before rubbing his hands together making sure to kill all those nasty germs "So?" Mozzie failed to see the problem other than Neal was going to have to use the regular soap tonight.

Neal unhooked the shower head and turned the taps on full blast...rinsing away all the suds before leaning in to remove the plug.

Mozzie scrunched up his face and spit and sputtered, gasping as he held his tiny hands out in front of him trying to fend off the spray.

Neal laughed until he realized that Mozzie was crying. He quickly turned the spray off and grabbed a big fluffy towel. He wrapped it around the upset little boy and lifted him out of the tub.

"Hey, shhh I'm sorry" Neal rubbed his little back and bounced a bit. He felt awful.

Mozzie rubbed his wet little face against Neal's shoulder and calmed himself down, ashamed that he had broken down like that, he didn't usually show much emotion. As soon as he managed to get the tears to stop and he realized where he was he started smacking little hands against broad shoulder.

"I finnneee pumme downnnnn" He demanded with a sniffle.

Neal ignored him and sat down on the toilet with Moz in his lap, "Its ok you got upset you know, your emotions were probably downsized with your body, it isn't your fault." Neal was being surprisingly clear headed about the entire thing. He had a natural way with children and well, if he stopped seeing him as Mozzie and started seeing him as a child he knew just what to do. He wasn't about to leave Moz alone when he so obviously needed comforting, no matter what the little one claimed he wanted.

Mozzie wriggled and squirmed for a minute before giving up, it was exhausting pretending like he was an adult when he wasn't and he was so tired and he really had been upset, the water had been scary, and Neal's comforting felt good and Moz just gave into his childish urges and lay his head on Neal's chest. Neal ran a hand down the little back as the boy relaxed into it.

"That's it, you're ok," He soothed and Mozzie couldn't help it he fell fast asleep against Neal's shoulder.

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Please review, no one really reviewed the first chapter and I really need to know there is an interest in this story in order to keep writing it.


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